I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
