there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
