umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I think I am morally bankrupt
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
