no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
