i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
