yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
