BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
