Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
