I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
