Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
