Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize