Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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