So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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