that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
do herpes really smell.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
