he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
