I threw up into my coffee this morning.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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