May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
