i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
40s are totally the cure
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
