Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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