Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She bit a glass in half.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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