Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
They should really pass out barf bags in church
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
