i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
