There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
