how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
