Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
