If i come over, it means nothing
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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