Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
