Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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