The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
