I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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