After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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