my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
