The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
