She's JV to your varsity
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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