I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
this just has baby written all over it
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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