When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
