Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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