On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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