Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
