Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
