Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
