I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
That's intense
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
