you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
