It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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