32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
