I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm always down for nudity.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
