She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
