Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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