I wannas sexs uuuuu
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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