Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
