Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
