capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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