Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The air was thick with penises
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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