just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
