so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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