Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
