we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
